I was going to post a video from Ren and Stimpy (those of you who watched that in the’90′s know who you are) and their Happy Happy Joy Joy song, but I got distracted by all the other shows I hadn’t seen in nearly 20 years, so now I’m going to skip it. Probably no point, for those of you who are still wondering what in the hell I’m talking about.

Anyway, I decided to take this 10-week seminar called Creating Happiness (mostly because a bunch of my friends were in it as well and who couldn’t use more happiness?) and immediately got confronted by the first week’s homework. We were supposed to notice when we were happy, and when we were not, and look at what our default experience was. Plus a couple of other things, but I was too busy dealing with this.

Now, let me be straight — while I’ve got a reasonable amount of crap I have to deal with on a regular basis, I am by no means suffering compared to 99% of the people in the world. So I’m not complaining about anything. And even with that, it’s interesting for me to see that I wouldn’t necessarily describe myself as “happy”. “Busy”, yes, and “thoughtful” (as in, doing a lot of thinking), and “cheerful”, but “happy” is not springing to mind.

In fact, I had to look the word up in the dictionary, and then immediately I disagreed with it : feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Contentment? Hell, I’m content if my food is warm and I get a full night’s sleep. That seems like an understatement. “Joy” seemed a bit closer, but, to be honest, completely unattainable on a regular basis, so in my semi-pessimistic state, I thought I’d shoot for something a bit easier. What that is, I’m not sure yet.

I spent the week trying to figure out if I was happy with a good glass of wine, (“enjoying” is accurate, but happy didn’t seem to apply), or some great dish I was eating (ditto), or if I finish a big project (“relieved” didn’t strike me like it applied either ;-) ), or achieved something big (was I happy when I finished riding across the US? Probably, but how long does that last?). What exactly does it look like when I’m happy? It seems like a stupid question, but I’ll bet it’s not that easy for you to answer either.

When it came down to it, I realized that my default experience really could be best described as “not unhappy”. Wow, that’s pathetic. And the double negative doesn’t cancel out and create “happy”; it simply means exactly that:  I’m not unhappy. Like when Will asks if I’m cold and the best I can answer is that I’m not warm. I couldn’t figure out any other good way to describe it.

It’s a good thing that there are 9 more sessions to go. Geez.

But yesterday we got invited out to a friend’s lakehouse and bam! bam! I immediately found a couple of occasions where I was truly happy. I don’t know why I’m surprised (probably because it seems like it’s been years since I’ve had this happen), but they took their speedboat out on the lake, and sitting in the front as we started to pick up speed, I instantly started laughing hysterically like a 5-year old, even more so when we bounced over the waves. I cracked myself up, I was laughing so hard, and my face was so tired from the grin plastered to it. Um, THAT’S what happy looks like.

And then when they had the huge firework display right over our heads that evening, the same thing happened (although I wasn’t laughing quite so outrageously ;-) ) — I forgot how much I love fireworks, and I just grinned all the way through it.

Ah, there’s a theme here, I’m realizing. When I thought about it, I realized that my other favorite things are to ride my motorcycle and do crazy descending on my bike — speed. And things of great beauty — that’s the other.

Photo credit to Greg Bartlett, who takes the best pictures ever.

Knowing that only partially helps, since the other trick, I suspect, is to newly find happiness in day-to-day life. Would having fresh flower around make me happy? Or do they become just the “background wallpaper” at some point? More vacations? Getting a boat? (just kidding, Will!)

And you? Do you have this figured out? What’s your default?