I have this list of 50 Things I want to do in my lifetime (that’s a whole other post) and things on it include everything to running a marathon (did it), jumping out of an airplane (did it), to taking an Ikebana class while I was in Japan (did that, too). I want to take a performance driving class (haven’t done that one yet), go hot air ballooning (that one either), and travel to Alaska (did it), the Carribean (not yet), Japan (yes), and Australia/New Zealand (no). I want to go on a cruise (yes, I could knock that out with the Carribean thing at the same time, but I haven’t done that yet either), and I want to write a book (much closer on that one).

But one thing I’ve always wanted to do was a silent meditation retreat. I don’t know why, exactly, except that I know that I’m a bit overstimulated with everything that’s gone on, and really, I could use a break from everything. And what could be better than not only going someplace that restricts not just computer use, but phone use as well?

Not just computer and phone use, unfortunately — if you do a retreat at the Insight Meditation Society, in Barre, Massachusetts, you also aren’t going to be doing any reading, or even any writing, and obviously no chatting. I suspect everyone’s got their breaking point, and not being able to read is mine — immediately I was trying to figure out how to hide my Kindle in my bag, and if I could squeeze in a few pages before bed.

I then drag myself back to the thought that if I’m going to go up there and practice meditation, and be quiet 98% of the time (I think there are a couple of conversations to be had during the week, but basically totally silent), then really, I should get a grip on myself and go whole hog into the thing. Because if you think about it, in how many different ways do we distract ourselves?

We gave away our TV at the end of last year, but now I just play DVD’s in my computer. Or read my Kindle. Listen to my iPod in the car, or at the gym. Check in on Facebook several times a day, or read other blogs, or check out lolcats. I write lists and lists of things I need to do or remember. I honestly can’t think of the last time I wasn’t trying to balance about 27 things all at once and not forget anything, and I use any myriad of distractions to give myself a mental break.

People have told me that they learned things about themselves on these retreats that they never would have uncovered; that they finally got peace and quiet in their minds around the 5th day. Honestly, I wish desperately for that, and can’t imagine it. And since I’m making the effort to do this, I’ll play by the rules and leave my electronics at home. Like not just bring them and leave them in the car, or have them turned off in my room. I will actually leave them in NY and drive 4 hours away.

It starts in 3 days, and I’ll be sure to post when I return. I don’t know what to expect either, although one of my office assistants was slightly worried that I’d “lose my edge”, as she put it. Fat chance of that — although I personally think I’m walking on some sort of edge and not necessarily a good one and could use a little blunting, personally speaking!